Shewbox.org

Image you go downtown to a restaurant.  It is 4:30.  When you get to the restaurant, their open sign sign off.  You ignore that and see if the door is open.  It is, so you go in.  But when you walk inside you notice the lights are turned off and nobody is in the restaurant.  The only light coming into the dining room is from the front windows and a tiny light from the back of the place, perhaps the kitchen.  Do you:

A)  Assume that since the open sign is not on, there is nobod around, and the dining room is completely dark, that the place is probably closed and you might want to try back later.

or

B)  Walk in through the completely dark dining room, glance around the back of the restaurant and notice there is nobody there either, then proceed to walk into the kitchen and find somebody in nicer waiter clothes who is helping to prepare salad, walk up to him and ask if the restaurant is open.

Seriously, why are some people so stupid?  This was yesterday as I was just starting prep work for the evening.  True, the owner needs to put the restaurant hours on the door somehwere (they used to be there but got taken down for some reason), but why on earth would you walk into the kitchen and ask if we’re open?  I really, really wanted to scream something like “Does it @#&*$#@ look like we’re open?!”  But I calmly said “No sir, we do not open for another 30 minutes”.  Then he asks if he and his wife can sit in the dining room in the meantime.  The completely dark dining room in which nothing is yet set up for dinner.  “No sir,” I have to reply again.  “We are not ready for customers yet.  I will be glad to seat you when we’re ready”.  I knew I should have made sure the front door was locked.  I swear, people think that showing up at a restaurant means they have a right to be served food right that instant in the exact manner they chose.  Yes, we’re a restaurant and our business is to serve you how you like.  But it doesn’t mean you can show up whenever you want and demand service.  Same thing goes at the other end of the evening.  We close at 9pm.  You show up at 8:59.  This isn’t like catching a train.  You don’t make it ‘just in time’.  So if I tell you we’re closed, please don’t act all indignant as if I’ve personally wronged you.  Most days I haven’t seen my wife since 7:30am.  I’m tired, cranky, and ready to go home, I don’t want to sit around for at least an extra hour so you can yap to your friends and tip me 10%.

At work in the computer lab for the last 5 1/2 hours, I am reading Malcom Gladwell’s latest book, Outliers on the comptuter (as a pdf).  I’m completely immersed in the book, my mind pondering the ideas he presents.  One of the student supervisors comes into the lab to check on it (well, check on me really, make sure I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing).  There have been people walking in and out of the room all day and I’m so focused on reading that I don’t notice her walk right next to me.

She says ‘Hi, I’m Ashley”.

My body moves in her general direction but my brain, even though my eyes have left the page, hasn’t switched gears.  I’m in a total mental daze.  I’m glad I can’t see the look on my face as she looks at me, expecting a response along the lines of ‘Hi, I’m ben’.  I’m not responding, staring out into space, dazed.

“And you are”, she prompts.

A few more seconds pass.

“Oh, ” I finally force myself to respond, trying to shake my daze and focus so I stop looking like a socially inept moron.  “I’m Ben.  Sorry”, I retort, “I was reading something and was lost in thought”.  I think I try to smile, but I’m still halfway in zombie land so it probably came off as a bemused smirk.

“Nice to meet you Ben”, she replies slowly, giving me a quizzical glance.  “How are things up here today”?

“Not bad”, I reply.  “Things were slow this morning but they’re picking up a bit”.  Finally social brain is coming back onilne.  Which means I’m starting to realize I’ve a bad first impression.

“Okay, well, I’m just going to take a look around and see how things are”.   She gives me one more half amused smile and walks off to inspect the lab.

D’oh.

I’ve been using Dropbox for about a month now, the free service.  I had been looking for automated backup software/options and found Dropbox useful enough for daily use.  It’s a worthwile service, even the free version with 2gb of storage.  Set a dropbox folder and the files are automatically updated and backed up to your Dropbox account online.  If files are lost locally like, say, in a sudden hard drive crash, just reinstall dropbox and your files are automatically synced back to your new hard drive.  Sharing files with others is a snap and accessing your own files remotely is also just as easy with a web interface to your dropbox.

Similarly, after trying Squarespace yesterday, I found it an excellent, well put together service.  It’s a sort of web publishing platform with slick tools for smooth editing of layout and content.  Unlike a traditional webhost, you aren’t dealing with software on a web server and all the headaches that can come with that package.  No mysql databases, wordpress installs, etc.  Editing the look of the site is incredibly easy, so easy in fact, it makes editing traditional Wordpress design’s CSS seem arcane by comparison.  It should be that easy to edit the design of any Wordpress theme and perhaps it will be if the smart people developing it take any clues.  If you wanted a reliable, easy way to maintain a publishing website, Squarespace is a great package.

The problem with both of these serices is that they’re locked into a use that is very narrow.  Both have per month charges and both, while being very easy to use, are limited in their scope as services.  This is by design and is probably what makes them such stable and appealing applications.  But it is precisely this narrow focus that I find frustrating.  I already pay for webhosting.  I have SSH access to a virtual private server and while this more traditional setup requires more know how and maintenence, it also has more freedom.  I am not stuck with a very cookie cutter web publishing app (however good that cookie is).  There are many packages I can install through my web panel and I have installed other open source web apps such as Ampache (a music streaming app).  I would love to have more space for my Dropbox account, but that would require at least $10 extra a month.  I have plenty of storage space on my hosting account, so why not be able to install Dropbox as a software package on my own account?  Yes that would mean giving up the support and reliability of using Dropbox’s official service, and I realize most people would not be interested.  I don’t even think it needs be open source either.  I would be willing to purchase Dropbox as a software package just like I might purchase a traditional software package.  There would be less support, but the tradeoff would be the flexibility to use that software how I wanted.

As we see more apps ‘in the cloud’, I wonder how many more projects we’ll see like Dropbox and Squarespace.  Now don’t get me wrong, I think the developers of both projects have done an excellent job and deserve making a good living selling their services.  I merely wonder if there can’t be another option for people like me who basically rent a computer in the cloud.  I have my personal computer, which I maintain and use as I see fit.  Then I have a computer in the cloud, if you will.  I mainly use it for web publishing, yes, but even in the 5 years or so I’ve been renting this space, I have seen more projects developed to use this space in creative ways.  Maybe an idea for a new web service wouldn’t be to sell high capacity hosting for web publishing, but a sort of renting your own computer in the clouds for your personal use.  Your own Ampache-like service, for instance, or photo publishing, or Dropbox like software, or any other type of web service you might find useful for yourself.  You pay one monthly fee to rent the cloud computer, but instead of a traditional web host with difficult to master command line interface, you have a user friendly Squarespace-like interface to manage your cloud software.   Hmmmm.. maybe I’m describing a Web OS, which has been attempted.  I’m not sure.  I get use out of the software I’ve installed on my hosting account and I think with the right controls and price, some people, at least, might be find that type of service useful.

It’s a service I would like in any case.  In the meantime I’ll keep using the free Dropbox and backing up my photos and videos to my hosting account via other software on my machine.   But if if anyone from Dropbox ever reads this, I’d be willing to put my money where my mouth is and pay for a boxed version of the software I could install on my own account.  Until then, it’s free Dropbox for me.

So here’s what pissed me off last night:

It’s another slow(ish) night at the restaurant.  Nothing new here, it’s summer in Bloomington and things are slower as usual.  Around 8:15 Hamid and I both have tables.  Me, a decent 6 top and two 2 tops for him.  I’m setting down knives on table 10, resetting it for lunch, and Hamid walks up and says, “we should alternate who gets to go home early”.  This is Hamid speak for, I want to go home early so you should take the rest of the tables tonight.  I don’t mind either of us going home early if our tables are gone, it’s slow, and everything else is finished.  Looking around I see that my 6 top is finished, paid and now chatting.  Hamid’s 2 top at table 16 is done, but they’ve already announced it’s their 35th anniversary and they are deep in conversation so they’re not going anywhere for a while.  His other table, 32, doesn’t even have their food yet.  We close in 45 minutes and the chances of my table leaving before both of his 2 tops are very good.  Plus, according to the numbers, Hamid has the next table that comes in anyways.  ‘How about this’, I reply, ‘how about whoever has their tables gone first, gets to go home first’?  He doesn’t say anything,  just gives me that look he does that says, I don’t like what you’re saying.  Or in other words, his pouting face.

Hamid is bit of a manipulative guy.  He is very good at getting what he wants and he knows I usually cave in especially because I’m a nice guy.  I like seeing people happy and I often sacrifice what I want for what others want, regardless of what is fair.  This is something I’ve needed to work on so last night when he wanted to get his way, even though it was fair that we both stay until our tables leave, I insisted we play by the rules.  Hamid then starts sulking and gets this terribly whiny look on his face.  I’ve never seen a grown man pout before, but Hamid sulks and pouts and whines until he gets his way.  I didn’t cave so he tries to pull a guilt trip on me.  Tries to make me feel as if I’m the one being manipulative in trying to go home early.  You know when a person is being manipulative when they don’t acknowledge what is fair or your point but instead point out trivialities to bring you guilt.  Make it seem like you are the evil one.  You know what?  Screw that.  I’m not falling for it this time.  Even though he was getting through to me and I was starting to feel a little guilty I knew I had to get out.  I was not taking advantage of him, I was playing fair.  Even if I had taken the last 1 top that did come in at 8:30, he still wouldn’t have left before 9 anyways.  I was playing fair, we both knew it, but Hamid didn’t like it so he bitched about it.  Now I feel no guilt and am glad I didn’t cave in to his pressure.  I did what was good for me, and what was fair.

Here’s to standing up for yourself.

I managed to run over 3 miles yesterday.  Considering I’ve never stuck with any exercise routine long enough to make it a routine, this is awesome.  After having a bad spring semester and desperately needing warmer weather and light when I awoke, I somehow managed to start getting myself out of bed at 6:15am every morning, feeding the cats, then going out for some good old fashioned eustress.  I’ve started down this path numerous times but never lasted more than 4 days.  Once the initial excitement of having a new goal wore off, so did my self discipline to get up and get out.  Once I made it past the week mark and the initial burst of excitement wore off, somehow I kept climbing out of bed when the alarm went off.

Why is this time different?  I’m not entirely sure.  Perhaps I’m getting older and more mature.  I am, I would like to think, growing stronger in my quest for self control and this prevents me from turning off the alarm and sleeping.  I also tell myself every morning, while I am still in that sleepy state wherein you would do almost anything to continue being in that state, that I have to get up and go outside but if I don’t feel like running, I can walk instead.  Many mornings I am sure, as I push myself into a standing position and start slogging through the morning routine, that I will be taking it easy and going for a nice, long, enjoyable walk in the cool morning air.  Yet every time when I get to my usual starting place for my jog, I start my stretches and take off at a fast pace.  I know that I cannot argue with myself in the barely awake state.  I am not a reasonable person and I cannot possibly win an argument (even one for a healthier self) if I will do almost anything to go back to sleep.  Instead I don’t think, don’t go over the options, don’t allow my lazy self even a tiny foothold.  As soon as I turn off the alarm, I start counting down from five.  I don’t think about anything else.  Just 5 . . . 4 . . . . 3 . . . . 2. . . . 1. . . take a deep breath, push myself up.  Sometimes cursing is involved as my body starts moving through the motions of making the bed and putting on clothes.  But by the time I’m awake and able to think rationally I am physically where I need to be to start jogging and I am ready mentally to start.  I’m usually not excited to start, but I want to get/stay in shape so just like I do when I get up, I don’t argue with myself, I just go.

This, for me, was the key to becoming an early riser and exerciser.  The person in charge at the moment of waking from sleep is grumpy, tired, and wants to continue sleeping.  He isn’t stupid, though, and uses ingenious logic to keep himself in bed.  You don’t need to get up now, it only takes you 10 minutes to get ready and you don’t have to leave the house for over an hour.  You don’t need to get up now, you did 2 miles yesterday and you worked late and your feet are tired.  You should relax a bit and not overstress yourself.  You know you should get up and excercise but he, being you, knows exactly what to say to lull you into complacency.  You can’t win so don’t play the game.  Like I said, I don’t argue and I don’t think.  The get your ass out of bed now counter starts ticking and after 5 seconds I’m out of bed.  I’m still grumpy, but every minute that passes allows the good side of me to wake up and take control.

A side note:  The Nike+ for the iPod is a great tool for runners.  It isn’t GPS accurate, but good enough for most purposes.  It records distance, time, calories burned, and has several workout modes to aim for distance or time or even open workouts.  Some mornings I go for distance (I’m aiming for a 5k run next), or some, like this morning, I go for shorter but faster goals.  I didn’t allow myself to get this until after I’d been running for a month though.  Gadgets won’t do the work for you and if the gadget is the reason for your initial excitement, it will in no way help you conquer your demons.  Once I had proved to myself that I was serious, then I allowed myself an extra tool to measure results.  If you’re already running and own and iPod, it’s inexpensive and worth a look.