Heidi Klum is my Mother, Apparently
You can’t help but wonder sometimes, do my dreams mean something? Some dreams have apparent meaning in relation to something in your life yet others seem to come straight from bizzaro land. But do those bizzaro land dreams have some sort of hidden meaning? Is your brain trying to process some subconscious memory? I wish I had an answer. Because this dream is total bizzaro land at surface level but I can’t help but wonder if there is any meaning at all to it. I don’t remember many details. Only the basic story line which goes something like this:
I am with my parents in some dark building (the whole dream has a slight shadow over it, in every room I can see things clearly yet it feels as though the light is from out of sight lighting and it is in a windowless room in a basement). They pull me aside and tell me they have something very important to share with me. It is my mother who speaks. She tells me that the day I was born I had some sort of congenital heart defect. Then she tells me that she is not actually my mother. Heidi Klum is my mother. This of course is impossible on so many levels, mainly that if she were my mother she would have been 9 when she had me. But she goes on. She says that when she gave birth to me, Heidi was dating Patrick Stewart, but that on the night I was born (also strange because I was born at 5am) he violently killed himself. She didn’t say how he killed himself but I had the distinct feeling that however he had done it, it was a terrible way to be killed. Heidi was so upset at this loss that she gave me up to my biological father (my current dad) and that my mom and dad had simply taken me in and decided it was best not to tell me the truth until I was older.
The next part is fuzzy. All I remember is that I am walking around inside flashbacks of Heidi Klum. In each one she is working for some fashion magazine and people are taking pictures of her. She is very shy at first about being a model, but through the flashbacks she gains confidence.
The last part is shorter because it was interrupted by my alarm. Apparently Heidi had also had another child, a daughter, who also did not know that Heidi was her mother and that she was my sister. Somehow I have found her and the woman who raised her as her mother. The three of us are sitting at a table in a restaurant and I am trying to find a way to tell her that she is really my sister and that the woman who raised her is not her mother. Her ‘mother’ knows I am going to break the news and waits patiently for me to say something about it. I delay. I am nervous but excited to know that I have a sister. Then the alarm goes off. I am still in a half dream state and am pissed off that the alarm is going off now. I’m just getting to the good part! Since my alarm is my cell phone I wait for it to stop wailing. I know it will go off in an other 5 minutes. I sit up in bed, groggy, wondering how on earth my brain comes up with this stuff. Is there meaning to it? I suppose there could be. But if it is, it is so random and esoteric that my conscience brain has no chance at deciphering it. Some dreams are best left alone.
Dream Diary: 2-13-08
My dream was quite a bit longer than I remember. But before the very last, very vivid, part I just remember tiny blips. Something about being in the IU music building at some strange practice rooms. Telling somebody that I knew where Neriki’s office was. And some other random visual flashes that I can’t translate into words.
This is what I do remember: I am lying down on some cot in a very dark stone room. Although you would not know from looking around this stone room (which is lit by torches), I somehow know that it is part of an imposing building owned and run by the church. I don’t know why I am lying in this dungeon like room, only that I am starting to feel frightened by lying here in the cold, dark room. Suddenly, I see a figure disappear around a corner. Although it may make no sense, this is terrifying to me. I am gripped with fear, and try to call out for help. My voice doesn’t work. Becoming even more frightened, I struggle and concentrate as hard as I can to force my voice to work so I can cry out for help. I am really terrified now, and began squirming around on my cot all the while trying to call out for help.
I feel a hand shaking me, and I am pulled from my nightmare by Akiko who says I was crying out softly, although she couldn’t understand what I was trying to say. I lie there for a little while with a feeling of utter fear still pulsing within me. I get up, go get a glass of tea. When I go back to bed, I flip though the channels on TV to distract my mind. Watching nothing interesting for 10 minutes, I click it off, close my eyes, and go back to sleep. This time without dreaming at all.
Dream Diary: 1/29/08
At a school, but not seeming to be a student. The school is VERY large, also seeming to house all grades. I don’t remember much of the dream except two key parts. First, I remember a huge cavernous room on the side of the school that is in ruins. It is almost completely dark, and I am in there with someone else although I don’t know who it is now. There were several dark creatures in this room, and one in particular kept flying at me as I tried to move about the room. It was a very large winged creature with a nasty looking beak, but I never got a good look at it because it stayed in the shadows as it tried to attack me. Scared, I managed to escape from the room into a different room with a few teachers, or maybe they were administrators. I told them about the terrible creature in the cavernous room, but they didn’t seem to care at all. I tried to get them to go in there ,to see the terrible beasts so they would do something about them, but they gave no sign of concern. I decided to take matters into my own hands then. But instead of trying to do something to rid the huge, wrecked room of its terrors, I thought it would be best if I just burned down the whole school. Suddenly, I’m walking around the outside of the school (which is one gigantic building). It is dark outside, and I am walking around the back of the building with my friend Michael. There is debris everywhere and it looks as though no one has bothered to clean up in ages. We take some gasoline and throw it over some of the debris in several different places and light it up. It isn’t long before all the debris behind the school is ablaze and soon after that the entire school begins to burn to the ground. This is when my dream (or my memory of my dream) skips to the next part.
The second half of the dream seemed to take place after the first, but in this part I am in an auditorium (also very large) filled with people. I got the impression that this auditorium was in a school, but seeing as that I burned down the last school I don’t know if this is in the same school I was dreaming of earlier. Andrew Buck comes out on stage and does a singing and dancing routine to the delight of the packed auditorium. I watch for most of the program, but before the last number I walk down to the left of the stage. Andrew is getting a prop ready for the last number, which is to put together a bed for some reason. But he is having trouble putting it together (why it isn’t already assembled I have no clue). I try to help him figure it out, but i am having no luck either. Then suddenly Andrew says that he actually doesn’t need the bed together on stage, but that he just needs the parts strewn about on stage. Several other people at this point come up to try to help, but he explains to all of them that the bed is just fine like it is. And the rest is too vague to recall.
Dream Diary – January 19th
I was in some sort of contest in which I could win a Dodge Viper if I could race to be the first one to the car. It was dark, and I ran really hard to make it, and jumped in the car. I thought I was the first one there and was feeling incredible, but then I saw that someone else had jumped in the car at around the same time. We both thought that we were the ones who had won the car, and so began arguing with each other. The contest judges (who were wearing orange t-shirts and reminded me of the S.O.S tour guide people at UCA) came up and I thought they were going to settle the argument and say that I had indeed won the car. Instead, they told us that the whole thing was a joke and that neither of us had won the car and that we needed to get out. I was sitting in the drivers seat at this time, and I looked over at the other guy in the car with me. We shared some sort of look and it just seemed logical that we should quickly shut the doors and drive off anyways because it was only fair that we should get the car at this point. So we slam the car doors, I start the engine and we drive off while the orange shirt people are yelling at us.
There is a break in my dream, and the next thing I know, it is now this guy, me, and Akiko who are driving in the car. It turns out that it was a good thing I was driving because the other contest “winner” tells me that he can’t drive a stick, and of course I can. We are driving on a very wide road and it is half dark. I can’t pinpoint the exact location we are driving. It looks in my dream just like a big interstate highway, but I have the feeling during my dream that we are not in the U.S anymore. After driving around a bit, I am getting tired of having this strange guy in the car with me, and so I stop suddenly and throw him out of the car and Akiko and I drive on.
At this point, things start to get stranger. Akiko and I are driving along still and we suddenly come to the end of the road. The road, though, is suspending up very high, not on a bridge, but just like those areas on the highway where the road has to go over other roads and so may be hundreds of feet up in the air. There are two buildings at the end of this road, and they are also suspended quite high in the air. We stop the car, get out, and walk inside of the building on the right. There is a man standing there and asks if we are ready to check in the car. I say yes, hand him the keys and he says I won’t be in any trouble because I drove the car here and also because I really didn’t speed any in the car.
We walk into this building, but quickly become lost. The building is very old, and even though it seems to be some sort of office building, there doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to how the place is laid out. We keep climbing stairs to find a way out, but we just keep getting more lost. We finally reach the top floor, and it is here that I start getting really scared. The top of the building is extremely high up, and the top floor is at a sort of an angle, which makes me think that this is not the most stable of buildings. What scares me, though, is the fact that there are many door ways on this top floor, but no doors. If I were to stumble at all, I would easily fall out of this doorway to my doom. Suddenly many members of my immediate family, and my Uncle are there. This makes me even more scared because my youngest brother is on a skateboard and flying around the room not seeming to care about the deadly open door. This goes on for a while, until I finally yell at him to just please stop riding that thing around and stay still so he doesn’t kill himself.
The next thing I know, all my family members have disappeared and Akiko and I are again looking for a way out of this building. We finally meet someone else who tells us to head down a stairway I hadn’t previously seen, and we will find a walkway to the other building, where we will then find a way out of the place. We walk down these stairs only to find that, while they do lead to the next building, the walkway is very narrow and it is easy to fall off of this. I am getting really terrified at this point (even though I’m not really afraid of heights in real life), but we start to walk across anyways. Halfway there, we run in into a young Japanese girl who is standing half on the railing looking like she is ready to commit suicide. I am so scared and just want to make it to the other side, that I yell at her to hurry up and jump so we can pass. So she jumps, and we finally get to the other side.
And then I wake up, still feeling scared.