sub specie aeternitatis

Heidi Klum is my Mother, Apparently

February 13, 2009

You can’t help but wonder sometimes, do my dreams mean something?  Some dreams have apparent meaning in relation to something in your life yet others seem to come straight from bizzaro land.  But do those bizzaro land dreams have some sort of hidden meaning?  Is your brain trying to process some subconscious memory?  I wish I had an answer.  Because this dream is total bizzaro land at surface level but I can’t help but wonder if there is any meaning at all to it. I don’t remember many details.  Only the basic story line which goes something like this:

I am with my parents in some dark building (the whole dream has a slight shadow over it, in every room I can see things clearly yet it feels as though the light is from out of sight lighting and it is in a windowless room in a basement).  They pull me aside and tell me they have something very important to share with me.  It is my mother who speaks.  She tells me that the day I was born I had some sort of congenital heart defect.   Then she tells me that she is not actually my mother.  Heidi Klum is my mother.  This of course is impossible on so many levels, mainly that if she were my mother she would have been 9 when she had me.   But she goes on.  She says that when she gave birth to me, Heidi was dating Patrick Stewart, but that on the night I was born (also strange because I was born at 5am) he violently killed himself.  She didn’t say how he killed himself but I had the distinct feeling that however he had done it, it was a terrible way to be killed.  Heidi was so upset at this loss that she gave me up to my biological father (my current dad) and that my mom and dad had simply taken me in and decided it was best not to tell me the truth until I was older.

The next part is fuzzy.  All I remember is that I am walking around inside flashbacks of Heidi Klum.  In each one she is working for some fashion magazine and people are taking pictures of her.  She is very shy at first about being a model, but through the flashbacks she gains confidence.

The last part is shorter because it was interrupted by my alarm.  Apparently Heidi had also had another child, a daughter, who also did not know that Heidi was her mother and that she was my sister.  Somehow I have found her and the woman who raised her as her mother.  The three of us are sitting at a table in a restaurant and I am trying to find a way to tell her that she is really my sister and that the woman who raised her is not her mother.  Her ‘mother’ knows I am going to break the news and waits patiently for me to say something about it.  I delay.  I am nervous but excited to know that I have a sister.  Then the alarm goes off.  I am still in a half dream state and am pissed off that the alarm is going off now.  I’m just getting to the good part!  Since my alarm is my cell phone I wait for it to stop wailing.  I know it will go off in an other 5 minutes.  I sit up in bed, groggy, wondering how on earth my brain comes up with this stuff.  Is there meaning to it?  I suppose there could be.  But if it is, it is so random and esoteric that my conscience brain has no chance at deciphering it.  Some dreams are best left alone.