sub specie aeternitatis

Getting Splashed with Water Whilst Driving a Scooter = Not so Fun

June 30, 2009

Restaurant was slow last night and I managed to take off at 8:30.  It was nice weather, still bright, and I was heading home in a good mood.  As I turned off 7th street in a quiet residential neighborhood just east of campus I saw a curly haired, young, unintelligent looking college boy moving towards the road with some sort of water cannon thing.  I hear his friends laughing behind him from the porch and as I go past, he shoots water at me as I’m going 30mph.  I didn’t get that wet, it didn’t get me off course, and honestly the water felt rather nice as it wasn’t that cool last night.  But I was still pissed.  Fantasies of driving back, pulling out a very large gun and shooting the water shooter in the face as his friend’s smiles vanished played through my mind as I drove, wet and tired, on my little Honda Metropolitan scooter.

What is it about driving on a scooter that makes 18 – 24 year old white males react in such ways?  Granted, I do probably look completely dorky on the thing, especially in my restaurant clothes with black slacks, black shoes and white button down shirt.  Still, it’s always been young, white college guys who want to react to my passing.  I’ve heard many variations of ‘Nice Bike!’ yelled as I passed, many more jumping out and yelling at the last second to try to scare me, numerous guys race past me in their cars on small, 2 lane residential roads (when I am already going 30, I mean, how fast does one have to travel on these small roads?), and now things splashed on me as I drive by.  Perhaps I should consider myself lucky to not have crashed instead.  Annoyances from ignorant white trash I can deal with.  Having 35mph worth of momentum halted with my head is harder to ignore.  I’ll take a different route home from now on, and even though I look dorky I still get to park on the sidewalk literally in front of the restaurant (which is downtown and parking can be a real bitch) and get 100mpg.

On the other hand, maybe I should just get a Harley.