sub specie aeternitatis

The Whining Man

July 2, 2009

So here’s what pissed me off last night:

It’s another slow(ish) night at the restaurant.  Nothing new here, it’s summer in Bloomington and things are slower as usual.  Around 8:15 Hamid and I both have tables.  Me, a decent 6 top and two 2 tops for him.  I’m setting down knives on table 10, resetting it for lunch, and Hamid walks up and says, “we should alternate who gets to go home early”.  This is Hamid speak for, I want to go home early so you should take the rest of the tables tonight.  I don’t mind either of us going home early if our tables are gone, it’s slow, and everything else is finished.  Looking around I see that my 6 top is finished, paid and now chatting.  Hamid’s 2 top at table 16 is done, but they’ve already announced it’s their 35th anniversary and they are deep in conversation so they’re not going anywhere for a while.  His other table, 32, doesn’t even have their food yet.  We close in 45 minutes and the chances of my table leaving before both of his 2 tops are very good.  Plus, according to the numbers, Hamid has the next table that comes in anyways.  ‘How about this’, I reply, ‘how about whoever has their tables gone first, gets to go home first’?  He doesn’t say anything,  just gives me that look he does that says, I don’t like what you’re saying.  Or in other words, his pouting face.

Hamid is bit of a manipulative guy.  He is very good at getting what he wants and he knows I usually cave in especially because I’m a nice guy.  I like seeing people happy and I often sacrifice what I want for what others want, regardless of what is fair.  This is something I’ve needed to work on so last night when he wanted to get his way, even though it was fair that we both stay until our tables leave, I insisted we play by the rules.  Hamid then starts sulking and gets this terribly whiny look on his face.  I’ve never seen a grown man pout before, but Hamid sulks and pouts and whines until he gets his way.  I didn’t cave so he tries to pull a guilt trip on me.  Tries to make me feel as if I’m the one being manipulative in trying to go home early.  You know when a person is being manipulative when they don’t acknowledge what is fair or your point but instead point out trivialities to bring you guilt.  Make it seem like you are the evil one.  You know what?  Screw that.  I’m not falling for it this time.  Even though he was getting through to me and I was starting to feel a little guilty I knew I had to get out.  I was not taking advantage of him, I was playing fair.  Even if I had taken the last 1 top that did come in at 8:30, he still wouldn’t have left before 9 anyways.  I was playing fair, we both knew it, but Hamid didn’t like it so he bitched about it.  Now I feel no guilt and am glad I didn’t cave in to his pressure.  I did what was good for me, and what was fair.

Here’s to standing up for yourself.